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You'll be a lover in my bed and a gun to my head 18/? [November 15, 2007]
Title: You'll be a lover in my bed and a gun to my head
Author: [info]nyclimbinbaby99
Rating: R
Pairing: Rydon
Summary: Thank god we stayed in a hotel tonight. Was what I was thinking as I looked at a very naked Ryan sleeping next to me. We never would’ve been able to do that in the tour bus.
Disclaimer: Totally fake as far I know. The title is a lyric from the Smashing Pumpkins.
Author Notes: At the ennnnnnd

PREVIOUS!!!!



You got no fear of the underdog, thats why you will not survive. )
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[November 14, 2007]
[ mood | nervous ]
[ music | -whisper of student voices- ]

In French while the rest of my class edits essays.  i sit here.  On my laptop. typing.  i'm a loser.

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Wow I'm bored [October 29, 2007]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | Gloves- The Horrors ]

Being ahead in technical drafting sucks.  I sit here and listen to music and um...post to this journal.
school still hasnt blocked the site.
I've lost inspiration for A Lover in my bed.... and the new one that was originally a standalone now has a second chapter.  I just need Emily's approval on it and it should be up soon.  

I also have an idea for another story.  I jsut need to figure out the plot.

Yeah. Ok.

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Chapter 30. Final. [August 02, 2007]

We decided on eating at Subway.  Very classy, I know.  It doesn’t really matter though as long as I’m with Ryan.

 

“So, today my friend, Alyssa, invited me to a party.” I commented taking a bite of my sweet onion teriyaki chicken sub.

 

“Oh wiwee?” Ryan asked with his mouth full.

 

“Yeah.  Actually she wants you guys to be there, but I told her I didn’t know if you could go or not because I don’t know when you guys are leaving again.”

 

“Well when is it?”

 

“Friday.”

 

“Oh.”  He said bluntly looking down at the table, chewing slowly.

 

“You guys are leaving before then?”

 

“Um, yeah.  I was gonna tell you today, when I got a chance.”

 

“So, I guys you guys can’t go…” I also looked down at the table, sniffling slightly since I was on the verge of tears.

 

Then I felt a hand placed over mine, which was rested on the table.  I looked towards my hand and sure enough, there was Ryan’s hand resting over mine, slowly stroking my knuckles.

 

“Well, that’s another thing I wanted to talk to you about…”

 

I looked up at his eyes.  Questions flying through my mind.  He was not going to break up.  We just got back together.  Oh god.  His eyes were unreadable.  I couldn’t get any answers from them.

 

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking….”

 

Tears started down my cheeks.

 

“No! No, not like that. Shhh.” He said realizing the tears and wiping them away with his thumbs. “Let me finish.” He said smiling.

 

I took a deep breath and nodded, calming down slightly.

 

“I was thinking, that maybe you would move back to Vegas with me and tour with us when we started again.”

 

I stared at him, shocked.  “Wh-what?”

 

“Will you move with me back to Vegas?”

 

“B-but Ryan, I have school and we’ve only been back together for like 24 hours and I mean…”

 

He sighed. “I figured you’d put up a fight and I was going to save this for later, since I wanted to talk to you about it tonight, but here.” He reached in to his pocket and pulled out a small box.

 

My eyes went wide.

 

“Nicky, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.  No matter what happens, I always want to be there for you and I want you to be all mine. Will you marry me?” He asked as he opened the box from across the table.

 

I just stared between him and the most gorgeous ring, ever.

 

“Are you going to say something?” He looked worried.

 

“You-You’re proposing to me in a subway?” I asked with a smile on my face.

 

He smirked and laughed a little and looked around. “Yeah, I guess. Depends on the answer.”

 

I laughed and got up racing around the table and grabbed his lips in mine.

 

“Is that a yes?” He asked with a smirk on his lips.

 

“Yes. That’s a definite yes.” I grinned and kissed him again.

 

We grabbed hands and ran back to the hotel to tell the guys the great news.

 

 

Its been over 2 ½ years since that day.  I’m traveling with Panic! on their newest tour and Ryan and I are expecting a little Ross in a few months.  Living with him has been a dream come true.  Literally.  He's a wonderful husband and I’m sure he’ll be a wonderful father.  There are some days that I do regret leaving school for him, but we know how to manage money and he has plenty for the both of us and the child.  Life is wonderful and I couldn’t ask for more….except for maybe that Brendon stop talking to my stomach….

The end.

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Chapter 29 [July 27, 2007]

I got home again, but ignored the girls as I changed and put my stuff away.  I ran out the door as fast as I could and to the hotel.  Those damn elevators could not go fast enough.  I ran to the band’s room and banged on the door, bouncing on the balls of my feet while waiting for the door to open.  Jon opened the door and as I shoved by him to Ryan’s room, I heard him chime “She’s baaaaaack!” Like that creepy little girl from Poltergeist.

 

I flew through Ryan’s closed door to find him lying on his bed reading and jumped on him.

 

He yelped then realized it was me that was on top of him and rolled us over so he was on top.

 

“Hi.” He grinned. “How was your day?” He asked between kisses.

 

“Great! But it was lonely without you.” I pouted as best as I could while kissing him.

 

“Mine was too.” He rubbed his nose with mine.

 

“What did you do while I was gone?” I asked as he rolled off me.  I cuddled up to him after he was next to me. I really did miss him all day.

 

“Just read and listened to music.”

 

“Oooo. What book?”

 

He held it up and I read the cover.

 

“Harry Potter?” I laughed.

 

“Yes.” He pouted.

 

“You’re 22!” I cried still laughing.

 

“But…But..” HE searched for a good excuse and finding none he just sighed.

 

“I’m sorry, hum.  Here we’ll make up for it.” I grabbed his ipod turning to the now playing list. “What did you listen to?” When I read the song currently playing I actually fell off the bed from laughter.

 

“What!” He asked. “Its good!”

 

“Its girl music!”

 

“So?”

 

“Ryan, Frou Frou is most definitely something girls and gay guys listen to.”

 

He crossed his arms and pouted as I climbed back onto the bed. “You’re gone all day and when you come back I get made fun of.”

 

I climbed on top of him, placing my legs on either side of his body. “Awww I’m sorry Ry.  I don’t mean to be mean.  Plus I love your…” I searched for the correct word. “Feminine side even if it shows more than in normal men.”

 

“Yeah, I guess I should just get a vagina since I’m pretty much a girl already.”

 

I giggled at that. “No!” I bent down putting my fore arms on either side of his face, so my elbows were supporting me and put my mouth next to his ear. “I’m not a lesbian.” I said as I carefully grinded my hips down on his which was easy since I was sitting on him.  I heard a sharp intake of breath from Ryan and turned to connect our lips as my hand moved down his side.  His hands were on the hem of my shirt and he started to pull it up over my stomach-

 

“More than meets the eye!” I heard sung from the other room and I sat up with a confused look on my face. Ryan just rolled his eyes and got a frustrated look on his face.

 

“He saw Transformers today.” I smiled in reply.

 

“Hey, Bren!” I called, still sitting on Ryan. “Which Transformer are you?”

 

There was a pause. “I’m really a Street Shark at heart.  How about you?” He called back.

 

“Optimus Prime baby!”

 

“Nice choice! I’d high five you if you weren’t naked right now.”

 

I gasped loud enough for him to hear. “I am NOT naked!”

 

“Whatever you say!”

 

“You know, we could always make what he’s claiming true.” Ryan whispered and raised an eyebrow.

 

“Ry, I want my first time to be special.  It has to be the right moment and obviously this is not that moment.” I said as I tucked my hair behind my ear.

 

He nodded and sighed.  “Ok. I’m kinda hungry.  You want to go get something?”

 

“Yeah sure!” I got off of him.  I waited for him to get up and grabbed his hand as we walked out of the room.

 

His hand felt wonderful in mine.  My small hands, sort of stubby fingers and just generally small, felt slightly insignificant compared to his large, thin, graceful hands.  But I liked it that way.  His hands are one of his many attractive physical attributes.  I have a hand fetish, so what!

 

We walked past the other boys.

 

“We’re going out to eat.” Ryan said as past them.

 

“Don’t stay out too later.” Spencer stated.

 

“Ok. Mom.” Ryan replied with an eye roll.

 

A comfortable silence settled in as we walked and looked for a place to eat.  Then I remembered something.

 

“Hey Ry.  Can I ask you something?”

 

“Of course.  You know you can ask me anything.” He looked at me with confusion wrinkling his forehead.

 

“Well, its getting out that I know you guys.” He nodded. “And well, I mentioned you and having talked to you and the girl I was talking to asked if we were dating.”

 

“What did you say?”

 

“I said not really, we’re just good friends because I didn’t know if you wanted us to go public or not.”

 

“Oh.”

 

 

“So I guess what I’m asking is can I tell people about us? Like outside Meg, Lane and Emily?”

 

“I’m really ok with it, but it is your decision.  Its a lot of media and you’re gonna get beat on by the girl fans.  Verbally and possibly physically.”

 

“Yeah, those Teenies can get violent.”

 

“So what’s your decision?”

 

“I want us to be public.  I want the whole world to know.” I smiled up at him.

 

“Good.  Me too.” He said as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me to him and kissed my head as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

 

As if on cue, a group of girls came up to us squealing.

 

“Its Ryan Ross! You’re <i>so</i> hot.  Can you sign this?”

 

He smiled and kept his arm around me until he needed to sign things.  Then insisted I stay next to him.  He was so kind and polite to the girls even with the amount they fawned over him.

 

Finally the question came up. “Is this your sister?” One of the girls asked narrowing her eyes at me.

 

“No. This is my girlfriend, Nicky.”

 

“Oh.” Then came the death stares.  Good things looks can’t kill.  I’d be dead 100 times over.

 

“Well, we’ve got to go.  It was nice to meet you all!” He said as he grabbed my hand and walked on.

 

“Bye!” was called from behind us as we walked away.

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[July 15, 2007]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | Banquet- bloc party ]

I'm kind of getting worried.  I've been relaly tired lately.  Yes, I've been staying up late, going to bed between 12:30 and 1:45, but I get 8-9 hours of sleep which is the recommended amount, thats when my body wakes me up.  But i just feel lethargic about everything.  I dont really care about reading anything, watching anything and if I had the choice, i'd be out of the house all the time.  My mom found out about me cutting.  Now I just feel as though its an elephant in the room and noboyd wants to talk about it.  She always brings it up and the weirdest and most annoying times.  I mean she drove me to Emily's on friday and on her strret, mom actually pulled over and grabbed my arm and started the inquisition.  God shes so annoying.  I jsut want her to leave me alone.  That's why I never want to be in the house doesnt she understand?  The only thing I really care about right now is hanging out with my friends.  I've hung out with Emily and the Kaps since I've been back, but I'm hanging with the Fultons tomorrow.  I havent seen them and I miss them alot.  Thats another thing.  I feel like I've bounced between best friends majorly this year.  Before school started, it was larissa, but she was like ok my hairs pink now, i'm too cool for you.  So then it was more of a mix between Lane and Vi.  But soon it was Meg and it stayed mostly meg the rest of the year, but towards the end of the year I felt like Meg and Kayla were getting closer and i jsut felt like I was a third wheel and I was trying to hold on as she left me behind so when I confronted her about it, she insisted that if i wasnt her best friend, nobody was.  So everything was better for a while, but then it started to happen again.  I jsut feel like Meg likes Kayla more but doesnt want to hurt my feelings.  So really this summer so far I've hung out with Emiyl most.  At the end of school I was at her house almost everyday.  Shes just so easy to talk to since we have so much in common.  Thats one of the things I have trouble with with meg, I feel as though I'm always forcing conversation or else we're totally silent.  She never talks to me.  Theres just a wall up around her and she wont let me in, but I'm sure she talks to Kayla more. I feel like I sound like shes my girlfriend or something.  I dont knwo but basically right now I'm crying. I jsut feel so lost.  I give, I listen, I help I'm always there, but nobody is there for me.  Who will catch me when I fall?

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I'm in williamsburg [June 15, 2007]
[ mood | full ]
[ music | the people talking outside this room. ]

Colinial shit hole of the world.  Really, the only godo things here are the outlets, which I went to today.  They have a Vans outlet, which I got a messenger bag, a pair of shoes, and a pair of jeans at, a converse outlet, once again a pair of shoes, a gap outlet, a pair of capris and a pair of jeans and a michael Kors outlet, 2 tank tops.  So that was cool.  The other thing is Busch Gardens.  Also went there today.  Jesus I love roller coasters.  I went on like 4 i believe and they make my life.  While I was waiting in line for the Griffin (the worlds tallest drop roller coaster and the worlds only floorless drop coaster in case you wanted to know) I saw the five hottest guys EVER. Oh my jesus.  They were gorgeous.  too hot to describe online, if you want details, call me and I shall tell you.  soo yeah, tomorrow Heather is coming over to Williamsburg to spend some time with me and then we have to drive her back to her house because she is going to a grad party that night.  And....yeah we start on the trip home tomorrow night and we will prob stop at the beach because my mom loves the beach and never goes to it.  hehe.  I cant wait till I go to the beach with Emily, the kaps and the fults.  Oh man, best trip ever.  I mean this trip is going to be the shit.  plus I have 2 concerts to look forward to as well in the same month.  I'm supposed to get a job, but i really dont see that happening anytime soon since I'm not going to be in the state for like the whole month of July.  Now that I've thoroughly rambled.  I would update the fanfic, but I jsut want to keep you in suspense until I get back home on Sunday.  Oh can you take it?  Just to let you know in the next chapter, Will and matt are in it.  (GASP!)  Oh you are in for some good times.

Much love!  I miss you all!
--Rainbow sprinkes

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Panic! mentioned in FOB tour video [June 04, 2007]
[ mood | chipper ]

In the Honda civic tour video Pete wentz talks about what type of music he likes and he mentions Panic!

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This is one of those emo posts.... [June 04, 2007]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | Blindside ]

I was jsut on myspace and looking through my bulletins.  I have my ex as one of my friends.  And I didnt even realize the bulletin i had clicked on was by him.  But when it opened it was a video remembering somebody that died, but thats not what I paid attention to.  All I could see was the picture of him and his girlfriend kissing.  his default picture.  I swear that I was over him.  I swear to god I've hardly thought about him for months.  But when I saw that picture, it took all I had to not cry.  It was so long ago.  I cant even believe how long ago it was.  Why do I feel this way?  What the fuck?  And I dont even have the right music for it.  I need some really really sad sappy emo music.  Yet, none of the music I have is good enough for me.

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[June 01, 2007]
[ mood | bored ]

in school and bored.  earth and space is lame and pointless

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i'm having dither spazzes. [May 31, 2007]
[ mood | giddy ]
[ music | Cobra starship ]

I GET TO SEE WILLIAM BECKETT AND PETE WENTZ.  IN THE FLESH. IN LESS THAN 22 HOURS.  I'M GOING FUCKING NUTS.

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Fell in love with the game, but I forgot you name. [May 29, 2007]
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | Blindside ]

Fucking fuck, I'm emo.  Thanks Everybody Hurts for telling em this.  i hate you. XD

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Best interview ever. [May 23, 2007]
[ mood | complacent ]

Interviewer: got any pets?
Ryan Ross: I have a dog.
Interviewer: are you allowed to take it on tour?
Ryan Ross: no. i have to leave it.
Brendon Urie: Ryan has the dog, and i have Ryan. its kinda the same. he's my bitch.
Interviewer: hmm. and do you pee on the furniture?
Brendon Urie: sometimes he does. but you know, thats my responsibility.
Ryan Ross: Its an accident.
Brendon Urie: that i have to clean up sometimes
Ryan Ross: Its an accident.
Brendon Urie: he doesnt know any better.

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[May 16, 2007]
[ mood | indifferent ]
[ music | thunder. ]

Its weird how much you can miss judge people.  i mean 2 months ago i would never have this girl on my top friends that i do now.  shes pretty shuweet.

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I'm really cold and wet..... [May 12, 2007]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | --silence-- ]

And I'm at the Fulton's right now.  hi lane i know you'll probably read this.  so yeah.  we went shopping i got the AP with The Academy IS... on the front.  Yeah.  We had pizza. And i had a meeting with my American studies group earlier.  That was fun we got alot done yet nothing done.  how we did it i will never know.  I'm in meg's Jack Skellington sweatshirt bc when we went to get the pizza and it was like POURING RAIN like frickin waterfall coming down from the sky.  so pretty much i was soaked and it was cold.  and now emily is herre and we're jsut hanging out.  Me and Lane played three games of battle ship because we are just that cool.  I won 2-1.  I'm sooooo good! :D  yea...... so we're pretty much jsut hangin here. oh and if you havent caught on to this.  this entry was written at two different times. the first half like 2 hours before the second half yea...... ok later!  LOVE YOU.

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SHAANT [May 10, 2007]
[ mood | energetic ]
[ music | The Academy is... ]

hehe i have shaant's number.  lols my friend has it and gave it to me.  (stalker).  ummmmmmmmm yeaaaaaaaaaaaa i saw them in concert today.  at the wilmington flower show.  they were AMAZING.  even though it was acoustic it was so good.  yea.  so good. i was right at shaant's feet and jeff was like 2 feet to my left.  amazing.  love them.  they signed my con.  i got my liscense yesturday.  ok i'm gonna go laters.

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can you do this for me??? [May 08, 2007]
www.lost.eu/47859 Go to that link.  Ktnaks
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The Sharpest lives [May 08, 2007]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | The Black Parade- My Chemical Romance ]

Well it rains and it pours
When you're out on your own
If I crash on the couch
Can I sleep in my clothes?
'Cause I've spent the night dancing
I'm drunk, I suppose
If it looks like I'm laughing
I'm really just asking to leave

This alone, you're in time for the show
You're the one that I need
I'm the one that you loathe
You can watch me corrode like a beast in repose
'Cause I love all the poison
Away with the boys in the band

I've really been on a bender and it shows
So why don't you blow me a kiss before she goes?

Give me a shot to remember
And you can take all the pain away from me
A kiss and I will surrender
The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead
A light to burn all the empires
So bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be
In love with all of these vampires
So you can leave like the sane abandoned me

There's a place in the dark where the animals go
You can take off your skin in the cannibal glow
Juliet loves the beat and the lust it commands
Drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands, Romeo

I've really been on a bender and it shows
So why don't you blow me a kiss before she goes?

Give me a shot to remember
And you can take all the pain away from me
A kiss and I will surrender
The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead
A light to burn all the empires
So bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be
In love with all of these vampires
So you can leave like the sane abandoned me
[x2]




...The Sharpest lives....its a My Chemical Romance AND a Panic! at the disco Reference OH SNAP.

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interesting.... [May 05, 2007]
[ mood | cranky ]
[ music | A Fever You Can't Sweat Out-- Panic! at the Disco ]

I have to saw, this has been one of the most intersting weekends in a while.  My mom is not on my back about getting my chores done 24/7.  and last night i went to see Spiderman 3 (which SUCKED btw) and today i practiced parallel parking bc i have my driver's test on wednesday and i had rugby practice.  Oh and highlight of my week (not) i saw my neighbor's wang.  I mean i look out my kitchne window while i was getting a coke.  and there he is, standing outside of his walk out basement door and peeing or at least i think he was finishing peeing and there it was right in the open in the middle of a busy neighborhood. WTF?  ew. and hes icky.  put it away matt, please, no one wants to see.  god.  my neighbors are so fucked up.  The other neighbor, across the street, i used to be friends with but she turned into a brat so i stopped hanging with her.  Now, my myspace profile is set to private.  and boyw as i suprised when i got a friend request today by non other than rebecca (the girl)  and so i was like well, maybe she got nice and i'm in a giving mood so i accepted. sooo a couple hours later i get on and i'm sitting there and one minute i have 244 friends and then the next i only have 243.  and i was like wtf? so i look and sure enough guess who removed me from their friends!  REBECCA.  GOD she only added me so she could see my profile, then removed me. dude. bitch.  hate people like that.  anyways. i went to bed alittle before 9 bc i started falling asleep while reading the tropic of cancer by henry miller.  but then i couldnt get to sleep for 1 1/2 hours and i was like fuck that. so here i am  1/2 an hour later.  bored. and tired and wide awake all at the same time.  this SUCKS.

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[May 01, 2007]
[ mood | angry ]
[ music | SANTI byt the academy is... <---GOOD SHIT. LISTEN TO IT. ]

Dum de dummmmmmm i'm going to see fall out boy and the academy is... in one month exactly.  Yesssssssssss.  ok yer.  boredddd.  research paper due tomorrow 7-10 pages and i only have 3.  score.  ok and now into the serious stuff.  so i have this best friend.  And like she told me i was her best friend and its been like this for a couple months,.  During that time her and one of her other friends got into a fight and like stoppped talking.  Well, now they arent anymore.  And i feel like a third wheel everytime i'm around them.  She will like put her arm around her and like actually talk  to her, but when shes around me she like doesnt tlak to me and jsut sits there.  I feel like i'm losing a best friend for the second fucking time this year. not cool.  I dont fucking need this.  Now i'm alittle pissed.  Because now that i think about why am i her best friend when she onviously cares and likes kayla (the other girl) more htna she does for me.  it annoys the fuck out of me.

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